Big This Week

Recent Posts

Tuesday, 10 January 2017


I have decided to take part in the 'Living arrows' linky over on Donna's blog.

This is how she explains what living arrows is;

"Living Arrows is about celebrating childhood. The project originally took it’s name from a poem by Kahlil Gibran, “You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” and every Monday we share a moment from our week and invite others to do the same as part of this linky".

I decided to take part as I love looking back at photo's of the boys and to see what we got up to. Childhood is such a special time and I can't wait to share our photos with you and have memories to look back on in years to come. 

The last week has been spent catching up with friends after the christmas break and the boys love re uniting with their best friends just look at the smiles on their faces. They have such a special bond already that I can't wait to see how close they will be when they reach 18!

I have made such a lovely group of friends which means the boys have also made such special friendships. 

This photo of the boys I will always love and I really hope as they will always have each other their childhood will be an amazing one. The fun and memories these boys are going to make this next year will be incredible and I can't wait to start the journey!

Join in and share your photo's from the week it will be lovely to look back on.

Living Arrows

Wednesday, 4 January 2017


jI love dressing the boys as you know so thought I would try and do a weekly post on their outfits! As Josh is in school all week he barely gets to wear clothes that I buy him which I hate! He doesn't like to pose for me any more either and his smile always cracks me up! Poor Freddie has to have a million photo's taken a day as he is so sick he has loads of outfit changes.

Denim jacket - Zara
White long sleeved top - Next
Trousers - Zara 

Leggings - Zara

I love zaras clothing selection and most of their wardrobe is from there. I would say its quite reasonably priced but if you like something from there I would suggest buying it as they sell out quickly and have regular new stock which means things come and go quickly. 

I love Serah's range of clothing from Jellyfish kids they both have so much from there! They wash so well and match up with so many different outfits! I love matching them like these 'Brother goals' tops, I mean how cute are they it really sums up the little bond both my babies have;

What have your little ones wore today?


Monday, 2 January 2017


Every single time I leave the house with Freddie I could tell you the conversation I will have with somebody that day. 

Aw look at him he's lovely how old? 
7 months
Is he your first? 
No I have a four year old son 
No way how old are you, you look far too young! 
I am 25. 
Are you still with the dad?
Oh that's good, do they have the same dad?
No they don't

I know I look young, I could get away with a child's ticket on the bus and still get Id'd for a scratch card in any supermarket. I just don't understand why people feel the need to point that out to me. What does how I look like or how old I am for that matter have to do with my ability to be a parent? What if I was 16 with two children what would your reaction of been then? There are mums out there who are 16/17 and they are just as good at being a mother as someone who is a lot older. Would you watch a young mum walk in the supermarket and think blimey she looks quite young I know let's go and ask her how old she is, and then proceed to tell her she looks about 16. Yeah, I here that a lot. 'I bet you do'

Now on to the dad questions. Firstly why would you even ask someone if they are still with the father isn't that a little personal? I may be a kick ass brilliant single mother why the need to judge on the fact that just because I look young me and the dad most probably aren't together anymore. Lastly,  do they have the same dad?! Is that a genuine question you have just asked me! Why will this information be important to your life, do you really need to know so much about someone you have only just met? What I am trying to get at is if you don't know somebody the questions that you ask them can be very judgmental and quite hurtful. Do I look like the type of mother who has two children by two different dad's who is probably a single parent and far too young to be a good one at that. That is how I feel when I get asked these questions. What happened to your typical how old is he? He is beautiful, a quick smile and chat about what a lovely baby he is and then leave to carry on with your day.

I would honestly never dream of asking these type of questions to anybody, but maybe that is because I am so sick of hearing them myself that I wouldn't want someone else to feel the same way. I know most comments are probably harmless but honestly when you have the same conversation ten times a davit gets draining. 

I remember one time when I was on the bus with Josh and he was having a bit of a meltdown as he wanted to sit in the front seats (as we always did) but somebody else was sitting there. The stares I got from people on the bus was so off putting. I sat with him and tried to calm him down by getting him to sing songs and cuddled him to comfort him. Each direction I looked I could see peoples eyes burning through my skin. I could tell they were all thinking the same thing about young parents and how they shouldn't have babies when they are a 'baby' themselves. It was hard work trying to calm him down with everyones preying eyes and tutting/head shaking until a elderly lady came up to me and said 'It's ok love, I had to come over to tell you what a great job you are doing and what a brilliant mother you are you can tell he adores you' I honestly cried it was such a relief to hear somebody praise me instead of feeling the judgmental words and stares like usual. She made my day so much better and I left the bus with a happy child and an even happier mother. Kind words honestly mean so much and I really do think praising somebody when you can see they are struggling will mean so much to that person and make them believe in themselves again

Moral of the story, if somebody looks young and they have children with them and you feel the need to talk to them, just tell them how cute they are don't go asking personal questions as they do effect people even if you may not think that they do!




I can't believe Freddie is 7 months old! The months just seem to be rolling in to one and he is growing at such a fast pace that I wish it would slow down! He is such a little chunk he can fit comfortably in 9/12 months which makes me sad as Josh at this age was still in 3/6 months! He is also a little attention seeking monkey, if he doesn't get everyones attention he will shriek and shout until you start talking to him and he will start to giggle! He loves standing up on his legs he is really strong which I think is to do with his love of his jumperoo he jumps like a crazy lunatic in that thing! 

He hates being on his stomach which does worry me a little bit. He finds it really hard to keep his head up and starts to panic if he's left for longer than 30 seconds. I try and do it as often as I can to encourage him to get better but I feel so guilty. He adores Josh and Josh is the only person who can make him laugh on tap. 

He said his first word which was of course going to be 'dada' because he is a complete daddy's boy. Every time he sees him he has a beaming smile and its adorable to see. He hates being changed or cleaned with a wet wipe he has a mini meltdown! He loves being kissed, tickled and thrown in the air (not high obviously) 

How is his sleeping? Well I am currently writing this with match sticks holding my eyes together… Yawnnnnn. He is such a rubbish sleeper compared to how Josh was. He started off really well sleeping all night, then he started waking up a few times for his dummy and fussing around. Now he wakes a lot and you have to pick him up to settle him and as soon as he is settled he will drop back off but wake an hour or so later! He has a really bad cough at the moment which I think is the reason he has got a lot worse lately. I hope he improves his sleeping soon as I am constantly sleepy! 

I am doing baby led weaning with him and he seems to be throughly enjoying it. I didn't do it with Josh and he is a shocking eater (lives off lasagne, pasta and jam sandwiches!) so I was adamant Freddie would be a good eater. He eats everything that we eat, I just place it all on his high chair and watch him happily try everything. He loves fish and veg! Will's mum has heart failure whenever she watches as she thinks he will choke! I do admit I have to sit on my hands sometimes to stop the temptation of taking something out of his mouth as it is how he learns! He had an omelette yesterday which he demolished so no wonder he is in size 9/12 months already the little porker!

His reflux is still there he cries a lot when he brings up the acid which isn't nice to watch. He lays down and you can tell its burning him as he gets so upset and as soon as he's lifted he brings it up. I would say his sickness has improved since he has been eating as he isn't going through as many outfit changes a day which is always good. His eczema flares up quite a lot and he is constantly scratching but we have an appointment with the dermatologist soon so Im hoping they can help us some more. 

He has mastered sitting up no too!

He really is quite demanding I am writing this now as he's eating his toast in his high chair and he's shouting at me, while Will and Josh dance around the room to the boys are back in town. I wouldn't change him he's a little character who idolises his big brother!



Sunday, 1 January 2017


Hello 2017! 2016 has been a very fast year, I left work in March (through exhaustion) and those 9 months have gone far too quickly I am heading back to work soon! It gave me a beautiful little boy to add to our family and a little brother for Josh to play with! We had a few little trips away and I spent a lot of time with my friends enjoying kids friendly activity! Our christmas was lovely and family fun filled and I am looking forward to another year as a family of four. 

I can't wait to start eating better. I always use christmas and new year as an excuse to eat complete rubbish and I am excited to get back in to eating better and fitting back in to my pre pregnancy clothes (wishful thinking hey) If I could have magic powers and have three wishes for the year they would be;

My mum to get complete health back (she has 12% function with her kidneys and heart problems) and for her to be able to walk more than a metre without being in complete agony with her nerve pain in her back. Its awful to see someone you care so much about being exhausted through her illness and not being able to carry or play as much with the kids (although she does do everything for Josh she idolises both the boys!) She is amazing for dealing with what she is going through and I really do love you more than anything in the world mumma bear!

My brother also, he is in complete agony with his back having to have operation after operation to get discs removed and nothing has helped! To see a happy healthy young man go from doing exsercise and sport every day to now not being able to drive a car let alone barely walk has been awful over this last year! He has one more operation in the next coming months and I am really preying that it works and he gets back to complete mobility.

Lastly, for Josh to love school its been really hard being a mum and watching him get so upset and scared about school. I really hope the christmas break and getting back into a routine of school every week day doesn't pull us back even more. You have another 12 years of school Josh so I would love it if you can start to enjoy it! You are learning things and making new friends I want it to be a special experience for you not one you are scared of. So heres to happy school times and not when asked what your favourite part of school is 'coming home' is not what I want to hear!

What would you wish for? Happy and healthy new year to you all!


Tuesday, 27 December 2016


Since Josh was three months old he was always in such an amazing routine when it came to bedtime. He would have his last bottle and go in his cot awake at 7.30pm and drift off to sleep by himself and that was him for the night. This routine carried on until he was two until one night he was poorly and wanted mummy to cuddle him when he was in bed. Was this the biggest mistake I made? Yes and No. 

Something must of clicked in his head and he realised he actually quite liked having his mum laying next to him in bed and cuddling her while he fell asleep. From that night on, I have never left his side when he has gone to bed. Every single night we lay in his bed together and cuddle up. It can take anything from two minutes up until an hour for him to fall asleep. It can be complete torture when I am so tired myself, to lay there in his bed confined into a small space while he fidgets and tries his very hardest to stay awake and refuses to sleep. Some nights I do think while i'm laying there come on Josh drift off mummy has so many things to do! I could be eating my tea, cleaning up your mess and even just having down time before I go to sleep myself.

There really is something about cuddling up to him that really is so special though. He lays with his head pressed against mine, his hand rests on my face and his other arm wrapped around his Mickey teddy. This is where he opens up all about his day and what has happened in school, what makes him happy and what has made him sad. I wait for bedtime most days as its where I find out exactly how my baby is feeling and whats on his mind. It is where I get to know him even better and how our bond just grows with each day that passes by. 

We laugh and giggle about everything, we watch silly videos together on youtube and its the only time we have together as just the two of us. Since Freddie was born, the time we spend together (just us) has gone down so much, that I really cherish bedtime with Josh. He tells me every single night that he loves cuddling up with me, and that its his favourite thing about the day. It really is my favourite time too little one. If I lay there and send a text back to a friend, he looks at me and crossly says 'Mummy you aren't cuddling me, cuddle me please' and I love how secure and happy it makes him. 

Everyone I know tells me I shouldn't do it, that he will forever have attachment issues and I am setting him up to fail as he will always need me. I don't think this is true, I am making him feel loved, secure and seriously happy so how can that be wrong? I am showing him that mummy cares and mummy will always be there wanting to show him how much I love him. I want him to feel loved so that he learns how special it makes him feel, and how he can make someone else feel that way to. 

I will lay with him until he falls asleep for as long as he wants me. I am not ready to give up that special time we have together and neither is he, and as long as its making him feel safe and happy I will continue to do so for as long as he is willing to have me there. 

Even though sometimes those half hours feel long (so long) and I want to jump into bed myself, one day he will soon chuck me out and announce he wants to fall asleep on his own tonight and I will miss these times terribly. Honestly, don't feel bad and think its a bad habit as they really are only little for a short time and they won't need you there so enjoy those precious times even more even if you do get squished, poked in the eye and have them heavy breathing in your ear as those are the times you will miss the most. I know I want to hear 'mummy just give me a cuddle please' for a little while longer!

© Awaken Beauty | All rights reserved.
Blogger Template Developed by pipdig