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Tuesday, 14 March 2017

DO YOU GET JEALOUS OF OTHERS 'PERFECT LIFE' ACROSS SOCIAL MEDIA?


I was talking to somebody the other day who told me how jealous she was of a few of her friends on facebook's lives. She said she looks at the pictures of their children dressed perfectly smiling in every photo alongside a perfectly clean and tidy house and feels deflated. Social media lifestyles how realistic are they? When you see a photo posted on Facebook or Instagram of a family or somebody's house looking immaculate do you feel a hint of jealously? 

Should you? No. A photo can hide a thousand problems. A smiling couple doesn't necessarily mean they are a happy couple in fact it could be the complete opposite. You need to remember that people only upload the best moments and keep those not so great moments private. 

When i scroll through a few instagram profiles i must admit i do get hit with the jealousy bug when I look at peoples homes especially when they are perfectly set out and they also have children. I ask myself how do they do it? Where do they keep their kids toys? How have they not got hand prints and chocolate engraved into their sofas? I constantly moan to Will about wanting the perfect home that is always immaculate I then thought, do i upload the bad photos of my house? Do I add photos when my house is covered in toys and piled high with washing? I don't! Of course I wouldn't so why would someone else?


'Social media photo'


'Real life'

I have lost count of the people who have said to me 'Wow Josh and Freddie get on so well don't they? You can really see how much Josh loves him' from the moment he was born. Funny how pictures can paint a completely different picture to real life. When Freddie was first born Josh didn't want to know and every single cute photo of them together was bribed and not wanted from Josh at all! I mean don't get me wrong now he does love his brother so much but this again is just more proof that you can't believe everything people want you to believe by looking at a picture they have uploaded. It is amazing what a kit kat can do!


'Social media photo'


'Real life photo'

Honestly I have to take around 30/40 photos of the boys together before I get a half decent photo of them both at least looking at the camera. As do the people you see splashed across instagram with their perfect family. I think people can get carried away with trying to live the perfect life through social media and forget to actually live their life. Spending hours trying to get the perfect lighting/perfect angle when in reality they are just missing out on living life to the full and letting the fun times slide by as they are far too focused on picture perfect photographs. 

When you are older do you think you will look back at photos of your clean home and think remember when I spent hours cleaning and how perfect my house looked? Or do you think you will think more about the times where your house was trashed but trashed with complete love of a child who is having the time of their little lives. The latter I hope. Sometimes people need to look at whats around them rather than through the lens of a camera. 

This whole post came about from me looking at my tulips lost for life in my kitchen and thinking life just sometimes gets in the way of having the perfect home and perfect life but I am ok with that!

 'Social media photo'

'Real life photo'

The couple who have just uploaded a photo of their baby scan with beaming smiles could be hiding the trauma of three miscarriages and this could be their rainbow baby.

 A couples date night photo, jealous because you and your boyfriend don't go out as often as you'd like? They could be on a last ditch attempt of keeping their relationship together. 

A photo of their child looking perfectly dressed with a gorgeous smile? She has probably just had the mother of all tantrums because her parents gave her a yellow straw instead of a red one.

Somebodys uploaded a photo of all the new clothes/make up they have just purchased and you feel low because you wish you could afford them to, they could have just gone way in to their overdraft and be in bucket loads of debt. 

The girl with millions of friends and followers? Selfies galore? She can still feel the loneliest girl in the entire world. She can have millions of followers and likes on every single photo but will still be dreaming of real life friends.

I know how easy it is to think your life is nothing like somebody else's and to feel slightly disappointed that things aren't going as perfect for you as they are for them 
but don't let social media fool you in to thinking your life is too far from perfect as more often than usual appearances are deceiving. I think it is easy to portray the perfect life across social media but I bet you their life has every single up and down that you do they just hide it with perfectly timed happy/clean photos. There are so many people out there who aren't as lucky as us, feel happy for the life that you do have as there are many out there who would dream to have everything that you have. I would rather a toy filled messy house and my children to be happy than to constantly clean and shout at them for making a mess! (not that everyone shouts at their kids!) Let them make memories. 

xoxo



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Monday, 27 February 2017

THE DANGERS OF COATS AND CAR SEATS




I never knew about this until recently when I watched a video on youtube about it so really wanted to share the awareness as it is so important. It's cold outside and you put your child in a coat to leave the house or the baby in a snow suit to keep them warm. You pop them in the car seat and off you drive to wherever you need to go, but are they actually safe?

No.  The extra layers you are putting on your child can cause a gap between them and the safety harness of the seat which as you can see in the video below is so dangerous if you were to be involved in an accident. Therefore if you were to be in a car accident the harness wouldn't be close enough to your child to be able to restrain them.

Watch this video;





Also you have the danger of your baby overheating in snowsuits in the car when the car warms up! 


Did you know that to keep your child safe in a car seat you should remove their coat or jacket and pull the harness tight enough to fit just two fingers between your child and the straps. I now always take off the boys coat's before they go in the car and if Josh complains of being cold he takes his warm blanket to snuggle up in once he is placed in his seat. 

Even if this post has enlightened one person on the dangers then i'm happy.

xoxo


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Saturday, 18 February 2017

AN AVENGERS BEDROOM FOR A FOUR YEAR OLD....




Picking a room for Josh was quite easy I have always wanted to give him an amazing boys room and had so many ideas. He loves super heroes and the avengers and I thought that would be something that would grow with him for a little longer than say Paw Patrol. 

I had a look at the kind of things I wanted to add to his bedroom on pinterest and off I went buying random bits at a time.

I have been asked by so many people to share his room with you so I thought It was about time I sat down to take photos and write about it! The photos were so hard to take with my iphone as my camera is broken so sorry that they aren't the perfect quality. If you have any questions about anything in his room then just ask! 

This was his room before;



Then after it looks like this;



I love his bed more than anything! He has always wanted a 'bed with stairs' and I looked around the internet and read nothing but good reviews from kids fun time beds and was lucky enough to receive a discount to review it on my blog and I am so excited to share it with you! 


His teddys were mainly from Mothercare other than the iron man which was purchased from Sainsburys. 


His tepee we were lucky enough to be sent to review by the talented when lulu met weasel (review coming shortly!) and Josh loves it so much! Both the boys are always in there playing and giggling and its lovely to watch. The design fits in perfectly as you can see. The batman pillow was bought by his nan and the personalised cushion was made by Wills lovely cousin for Christmas for Josh.



His wall looks incredible doesn't it? I was a little nervous that it would be too much and he might be a little scared but I shouldn't of worried as he loves it. It completely makes the room and we are lucky we have lovely talented people in our family who were able to make it and put it up for us!


 (you can tell Will took this photo.....)

I love his bunting we got to review from the lovely bambisbeautifulthings (post coming soon!) it really adds to the avengers theme perfectly.

I love this part of his room as he was so excited to see all of his costumes hanging up together! I think it looks perfect for any avengers lovers bedroom.




His lights are my complete favourite and he and his friends are obsessed with turning them on and are amazed by them every time. I bought them all on Ebay and they arrived really quickly!



I love his room as does Josh. I hope you do! Let me know if there is anything else we can add to make it look even better and I would love to see your children's themed bedrooms!

xoxo
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Friday, 10 February 2017

LEAVING PARENTS EVENING DISHEARTENED...



On Wednesday I had parents evening at Joshua's school to discuss his progress and how he is getting on in school. I was actually looking forward to talking with the teacher about him and was really interested in what she had to say about him. Me and his dad went together and were seen as soon as we walked through the door as she was ahead of schedule. 

We sat down and she explained how she had wrote down notes to help her remember what to say. She started by telling us how she feels Josh is enjoying school more (we had a few issues before where he was scared of coming to school) and told me he still plays with the same children and named a few of the boys which surprised me as Josh told me he doesn't play with them anymore and was quite confident about that. She then spoke about his books and how is he coming along and this is where I sat with complete disappointment. She told me how he has been having extra help every day with his english and maths as he was falling behind the average of his age group.  She said they alternate each day with maths and english. 

She told me he finds it hard to recognise his sounds, yet he shows me every single one when I go through them with him. She said he also struggles with his numbers and counting, yet when I do it with him he may get the odd number wrong as he says them too fast but I never really noticed an issue before and I know he is very capable. What got to me the most was when she said 'I don't think he will reach the average a child of his age should be at by the end of the year' That honestly made my heart sink. Is this my fault? I felt like maybe my parenting skills aren't up to scratch and should I be sat practising his learning with him every single day? Instead of sat doing role play activities and games with him. Should I be putting more pressure on him to work harder and concentrate more? His dad asked if it was down to concentration rather than his ability and she said she didn't think so. She said maybe at the start she could blame concentration as the children aren't used to the environment and routine of school life but they have had a few months now and have settled down.

She gave me games to play with him to encourage his learning without him realising he's doing it. To ask him questions like 'If me and you had to eat at the table how many plates would we need?' I thought this was pretty simple so does that mean he is really struggling? Is he really not learning at the same pace as some of the others? I mean I know all children are different and all learn at difference paces but is it something I should be worrying about with him being only four years of age? He is one of the youngest in his class and to me he is such a bright boy. 

Josh if mummy and Joshua were eating at the table how many plates would we need?
'two mum' 
'So if me, you and Freddie were eating at the table how many plates would we need?'
'two mum, Freddie doesn't use a plate silly' 

He really makes me laugh and I left the school really worrying and panicking that he wasn't clever enough and was really struggling with easy tasks. Yet here I was watching this bright and funny little boy and yes they spend all day every day with him but do they really know him as well as I do? Yes they may understand more about his ability with different subjects but I know my son, and he is a clever little boy. He is bright he takes absolutely everything in, his memory is incredible for his age. She also said to me that he really tries to please her by giving her an answer and really tries to give the right answer but really struggles. It got me thinking, he does love to please people. He absolutely loves being praised so is he just trying to think really quickly because he doesn't want to disappoint.  Is there too much pressure on them? They are still so little are they expecting too much? I think so. He learns a lot through play and playing with his friends and thats all I am concerned about. 

I went home to my mum after parents evening and I was so upset. I told her we really need to crack down on his playing with his toys and encourage him to learn more. I was telling her how I would sit at the table with him every single day and practise our writing and numbers, but do I really need to every single day? No. Like I said at first I thought it was obviously my fault and I was failing but after sitting with him when I got home I knew I had done nothing wrong and he was perfect. He really is so kind and loving and that matters so much more than anything. I refuse to pressure him into learning at a faster pace and as long as he is happy then so am i. He comes home and he is so proud of all the new things he can do and nothing makes me prouder. 

I know there are quite a few parents who really quite strict on their children at this age and want them to be the best at everything but for me, that really just ruins their childhood. Let them be kids, encourage their learning but why pressure them when they will have enough of that while they are growing up! Just let them have fun and the learning will just follow...

Being the best at everything doesn't necessarily mean you are better.

This is nothing against Joshs teacher as I think she is a brilliant teacher! :) 






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Monday, 6 February 2017

LIVING ARROWS - 6/52

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” 



This photo was taken literally about five minutes ago! Josh was so excited about his homework he had to go on his home. He is learning in school about different types of houses and when we drive past places he will shout out 'Look mummy it is a semi detached house' and he is so proud of himself.

He even tried his very hardest to write his name on the house which is a big deal for him as he is slightly behind but watching how hard he tried made me so proud of him.


Last night I went out for a meal with some of my family for my great aunties 70th birthday and it was really loved to see everybody as we don't often get to spend much time together. I see my nan and grandad every week and I love this photo I snapped quickly, look at the way they are looking at him you can feel the love by just looking at the photo! Although Freddie looks massive I can't believe how much he is growing! Its crazy. We left Josh at home with my mum (who is poorly so couldn't go either) as he was far too tired to drag out! 


What have you done this week? 



Living Arrows




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Thursday, 2 February 2017

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED SINCE BECOMING A MUM OF BOYS



I love having my boys I honestly can't imagine having a girl but what have I learned since being a mum of boys?



You will have countless phone calls from their school where they have fallen over and bumped their head. 
- hes fine he was just running a little too fast so has a lovely lump attached to his head

Your bathroom floor will always be covered in pee (gross!) as will your toilet seat and anything in close range to the toilet. 
- Seriously boys pee closer to the toilet and look where you are pointing! Do they do handstands while closing their eyes when they have a wee?

You will get shot with a nerf gun at least 15 times a day
- Or maybe more, top tip don't buy one for your boyfriend as its double the pain and they are more child like than your children! 

Boys are really loving and are a lot more cuddly than girls!
- The saying mummy's boy isn't made up you know! They are the most loving, protective, cute and adorable little boys! I have never had so many cuddles and kisses before and I can't wait for it to continue. 

Expect loads of jokes about farting and poo!
- Mum you're a poo poo head, while squating down and doing loud fart noises boys are truly disgusting.

They never stop moving, seriously they are always on the go
- Mum watch me do a cart wheel over my bed and climb any wall that I ever did see, it is so much fun!

They come home covered in mud on a regular basis and your washing machine is always on the go
- Josh did you take a bath in the mud in school? No we were just seeing who could sink faster in the mud mum. Take your clothes off then Josh and put them in the machine for the fifth time

They do not stop touching their male parts!! Even as babies as soon as they find it god help you! 
- Get your hand off your willy! Look what I can do mum its a gun *while pulling it in to all sorts of positions* GROSS you know it will fall off if you carry on!

Anything and everything can be and will be used as a gun 
- That innocent tub of pringles left on the side? It is now a gun and being shot at you from the other side of the kitchen. That goes for sticks, wrapping paper tubes, lego, their fingers the list is endless.

They have no fear and will give you a heart attack on numerous occasions 
- You need eyes in the back of your head, see that massive tree in the distance? They will climb up it without thinking twice. They will dive and roll off everything and anything and get in to so much mischief. 

You will turn into hulk hogan in 0.5 seconds
- Get practising your wrestling and fighting skills as you will need to be on top form. They can come at you at any time with a slam dunk to the floor and an elbow in the eye.

You will know every name of every super hero that ever existed
- Captain america, Hulk, Batman, Spider man, Thor, Superman, Superwoman, Iron man, Wolverine, Ninja turtles, Green arrow, Hawk eye, Cat women ok ok so the list really is massive but you want to know the rest? No problem just ask them! 

You say things you never thought you'd ever say 
-  'get captain america out of your pants'
'get that arrow out of your pants too' 
'don't pee on your brother'
'why are your pants on your head?'
'no mummy doesn't have a todger'
'get your foot out of your mouth'
'don't lick the TV screen'
'No you can't shoot the dog with a nerf gun'
'NO you must never ask someone why they are so small'
'Why are there cookies in my bath?'

Stepping on lego is the worst pain in the world
- When you have boys and they cover your house in lego, BEWARE of standing on it the pain is close to childbirth!!!


Always be cautious when changing a nappy 
- They will sprinkle you (or even themselves in the eye!) with wee. Honestly as soon as you take the dreaded nappy off it must send a message to their brain 'Pee all over mummy' The little thing shoots upwards and gets you right in the face, or if you are lucky they shoot themselves in the eye (yes this actually happens!)

They are very proud of their farts
-  'MUM did you hear that WOW' and even their poo's 'WOW MUM ITS SO BIG COME LOOK QUICK'

Mud and dirt can be so much fun 
- Invest in a pair of wellies you will need them! I have heard of mud baths being relaxing and good for your skin, but my boys think a mud bath is completely different! Aim shoot fire and I will be covered in mud from head to toe and look like I've been rolling around in it (ok maybe I have, my boys are having fun in the mud so I have an excuse!)   

They can be as hard as nails but as soft as butter

Your house will never be tidy again

They just don't listen
-  I can say JOSH come and sit down and eat your breakfast six times before he pipes up with 'sorry what did you say?' 'Honestly mum I never heard you shout 600 times I promise.

They won't care where you are if they need to pee they will pee 
- Pulling over on the side of the road just to let your son have a wee in the bushes will become a regular thing when you go for a drive somewhere.

Boys really are amazing and mine make me so ridiculously happy. People always say to me when are you going to try for a girl? I just love my boy life far too much and the cuddles and love they both give me is so amazing that I really couldn't ask for anything else. 

Mummy's boys really do exist and they are amazing.









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