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Sunday, 19 June 2016

Happy Fathers Day




To my lovely boyfriend on Fathers day.

Thank you for taking away my single parent status. I may have struggled at first to share the responsibility of my little boy with you but you made me and I am really happy that you did. I love how you have taken on a then lively two/three year old and from day one treated him like your own son. You teach him right and wrong and are a lot stricter than I am with him which I know is because you love him and want the very best for him. Nothing makes me happier than Josh and Freddie having such a good role model to look up to. You became a dad this year to our lovely little bundle of joy but to me you know you really became a dad the moment you met Josh. Anyone would find it difficult to bring up a child who isn't biologically theirs but you have done such an amazing job and with such ease. Im sure people wondered what you would be like when Freddie was born, but you have given Josh even more attention than usual and that shows the type of person you are. Josh isn't the easiest of children to keep entertained but you somehow manage it every day. You may be the grumpiest person when you're tired but I wouldn't want to share the sleepless nights with anybody else. I really do love how you would do anything to keep a smile on both your boys little faces and we are extremely lucky to have you. I bet you can't wait to have more baths with Josh just so he will wash his hair. I know it must be lovely to have him chuck dirty bath water over your head but you don't mind in the slightest. 

You helped bring Freddie in to the world (but I wouldn't mind some of the praise that you've been getting too mind! I mean I only pushed him out…) and you were treated with a baby that couldn't look any more like you. I can't wait to see the bond you have with them both get even greater. I also can't wait to be chased around by all three of you with pretend guns and swords. I love having a house full of boys and an amazing daddy to share them with. I love watching you with Freddie and the love in both of your eyes. The way Josh asks where you are every hour that you're in work shows the love he has for you. I asked him why he loves you and his reply? 'He plays with me and cuddles me in the man cave, but he really didn't do a good job of building this hot wheels track did he mum?'


I refuse to write any more as you get praised enough (surely your head can't get any bigger?) but as much as I moan at you how hard you find waking up, you really do help me an awful lot and I am truly grateful. 

PS thanks for doing most the night feeds Freddie told me how much he loves to cuddle you at 2am, and thank you for all the times you have given me some much needed rest by running just wild in the garden. 

As long as you carry on being the daddy you've become I can see us with a lovely little football team of boys!!! (Im joking grandparents not just yet don't panic!!!)

xoxoxo



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Sunday, 12 June 2016

WHAT IS BEING A PARENT?

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I feel like I have learnt a lot about parenting the last few years with Josh. There are so many things that you wouldn't know until you become a parent yourself. The little things you do just to keep them happy and to have a smile on their little face's.

- Its 3am and they are screaming for you, you run into their bedroom wondering whats wrong and the worst thing has happened... their favourite teddy is 2cm away from them and they just couldn't possibly reach that little bit further themselves to grab him. Mummy just reaches him so much better.

- 'Mummy please don't wash my hair' getting in the bath with him and letting him chuck countless bottles of water over your head to make them laugh just so you can do the same back to him (thanks Will for the countless baths you have with Josh and get covered in baby shampoo and water!)

-When you sit and smile through the pain of playing the same matching card game for the 100th time that day. Can we play again? Sure we can I would love to match all your paw patrol cards up again Josh.

-You will have countless £70 plus phone bills just to keep them happy when you are out for food. Mummy please can I watch netflix or I will scream the entire food place down and have everyone stare at you while you feel your cheeks burning up. Of course you can build mummy up a lovely phone bill to go with it.

-You will go hungry! You make yourself a sandwich and a hot cup of tea but you have a lovely happy baby fast asleep on your chest who you just can't disturb. Leaving you with a lovely cold cup of tea and a soggy sandwich, but at least the baby is sleeping right?

-Your car will resemble a car boot sale full of junk. Clothes, shoes, food wrappers. Crushed cheerios in your back car seat. Spilled fruit shoots hidden by countless pictures drawn from nursery. Who needs a clean car anyway?

-You learn to become a ninja. You learn where all the creeks in your child's floorboards are and exactly how to avoid them while escaping from the tight grasp they have on your hand when they fall asleep. As soon as you get out of their room you smile like a lunatic because you have basically just won the lottery.

-You 'pop to the toilet' a lot. Which really means you are sneaking off to the kitchen to chuck a chocolate bar in to your mouth just because you don't really want to share. 

-Every rule you made or thought you would do with your kid's before they come really does go out the window. I really won't give this baby a dummy or ever give him his second ice cream of the day no way. Then they just look at you with their cute little face's and say 'but mummy please PLEASE' and you are just a sucker because just look how cute they are. Who cares that they will have the biggest sugar rush and wont go to sleep till 10.30pm you can cope right?

-You become your own professional photographer. I mean your kids are beautiful so who wouldn't want to see 500 photos of them uploaded a day? 

-You become your child's interpreter. Aww he's so cute what did he say iggle piggle? No he said he wanted cheerios and rice crispies for breakfast but definitely no milk. Only you will be able to understand them! 

-Try leaving the house in five minutes with two kids. Impossible. It really is like you are about to fly on holiday and you're packing your kids suitcases every single day. I mean what could they possibly need that massive bag full of things for you may think, but trust me they will through the biggest tantrum you have ever seen if they haven't got their half bitten red crayon that they need.

-Some days you will count down the minutes/seconds till bed time because you just need the peace and quiet. Then as soon as they are asleep you stare at their perfect little faces and miss them all over again.

-You will use bribery on a day to day basis. Josh you look so cute please let mummy take a photo of you.. 'NO I will not smile' you know that magazine you wanted? CHEESE.

-Privacy what is that? You can't even go to the toilet or have a shower by yourself any more. As soon as you shut that bathroom door it will swing straight back open 'Muuuuum what you doing?'

-The first few weeks after childbirth is definitely the hardest. You will cry about everything and anything like being given flowers and having no vase. You will hate giving your baby away for cuddles because that's all you want to do is sit and cuddle them to yourself. Watching people feed them/wind them is a massive struggle because they just do it differently to you.

-Watching your first born bond with your second born is the most amazing experience. Watching them turn into an incredible big brother who offers to help (even with the stinky nappy changes) just makes you feel like the luckiest mummy in the whole entire world.

-You will get used to being red faced. While your talking to the post man about how lovely the weather is and all you can hear is 'Mum wow come and look at the poo I just did it is MASSIVE and it smells SO bad' Thanks Josh!!!

-It isn't just the terrible two's that exists in fact every age your child reaches has something that will push you close to insanity. 

-Netflix and chill really does mean just that. Chuck on a paw patrol and breathe...

-You turn in to the hulk. One four year old on one arm, a car seat with baby and baby changer bag in the other who need's a man?

-You can (and will) survive on little sleep and still function even if it feels impossible.

-Sometimes the ipad becomes your best friend and you will let them sit with it for an hour (or three)

-It really will make you appreciate your parents so much more. You realise what they went through raising you and you understand the struggles they would of faced. Nothing beats seeing your mum/dad holding your newborn baby and seeing the rush of love in their eyes. Completely priceless.


The day they can tell you that they love you, and cuddle you even though you are completely exhausted, and being a parent is by far one of the hardest, challenging and frustrating experience it is the best decision you have ever made. To watch your babies grow up and change in front of your eyes is the best feeling in the world. No matter how much it burns waking up at 5am countless times a week, and being covered head to toe in baby sick being a parent really is priceless.

You know when you give birth and say you would never ever do it again, I bet you will just to feel that surge of complete love you feel as soon as they place your baby in your arms. Best. Feeling. Ever.



xoxo
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Wednesday, 1 June 2016

MUMMY CARRIED YOU & DADDY DELIVERED YOU...





Okay so it has been five days since my completely unplanned home birth and I feel more ready to talk about it. I think I was in delayed shock over how, and how quick it all happened that it has taken a good few days to take in. I don't think I will fully get over it.
So Tuesday the 24th of May was my beautiful boys fourth birthday. We woke up all excited and opened all of his presents and cards and we got him ready for nursery. I did say he could have the morning off and we could go to Barry Island but he was adamant he wanted his whole class to sing happy birthday to him (bless him). We dropped him off and went to the doctors to have my blood pressure checked as it had been quite high recently and they wanted to keep an eye on it. As I was standing in the doctors I was almost certain my waters were leaking but I thought I was being paranoid so ignored it. I went home and lay on the sofa for a short while, once I got up more water was leaking and at that point, I knew my waters had broke. I was devastated! All I wanted to do that day was take Josh out and give him the best birthday ever.

I phoned the hospital and they wanted me to come in straight away to get checked so I had to call Josh's dad and ask if he could pick him up and have him for a few hours. I felt awful. Once I got to the hospital they confirmed my waters were no longer in tact and transferred me to the induction ward. After sitting there for an hour and looking through my notes they decided to let me go home and booked me in for an induction for the following morning. I think it helped that I kept going on and on about how I wanted to be back with Josh to spend the day with him and how I really didn't want them to share a birthday. They did give me the option to be induced there and then but I declined. The midwives said hopefully I will go into a natural labour but if not, to go back in the morning. 
For the rest of the day I felt completely normal. Will and I picked Josh up and had a lovely day celebrating his birthday. I had no aches/pains and was getting my head around being induced in the morning. I put Josh to bed with me for an hour as I knew it would be our last night together as just the two of us, then moved him into his bed when he fell asleep. Me and Will took a walk to Sainsbury's to buy some baby milk as we hadn't bought any yet and once we got back we decided to have an early night although I couldn't sleep properly. 

I woke up around 230am and felt completely normal, popped to the toilet and went straight back to sleep. An hour later I woke up in agony, I had the most intense contraction pain so decided to download the contraction app on my phone and try to log them. I was in so much pain and they were coming at every three to four minutes but after twenty minutes changed to every one minute. I really thought I was being a massive baby as with Josh they started so weak and built up over 10/11 hours. At about 4am I was in such intense pain I decided it was best I woke Will up. I had kept him sleeping originally because I thought I had such a long way to go it would be pointless us both being awake and I would try and cope by myself. He jumped out of bed and rang the maternity ward who first off wasn't sure if I should go in or not and just wait it off at home for a bit. After a bit of persuading from Will they told him to bring me in. At this point I had bruised my entire arm from trying to shift the pain away and was in such agony I really didn't think I would cope. Will tried to dress me (bless him I was shouting at him to leave me alone the entire time) but I pushed him away and headed to the bathroom as I had such a strong pressure to push and I was really dazed. I called Will and told him there was no way I could leave my house and get into his car as I could barely move and told him to ring an ambulance. 

He rang the ambulance who told him to make sure I wasn't sat on a toilet or had my legs crossed to which he replied 'she's doing both!'. He had to drag me off and lay me down on my bed. They were giving him step by step instructions and telling him to grab lots of towels, one to put under me, one for the baby to be wrapped up in and the rest to be used as it could get messy. When he came in with a handful of towels it suddenly dawned on me I was actually going to be giving birth in my own bedroom. I was petrified. I thought they would put me in the ambulance and I would still give birth in a hospital but the contractions and the urge to push were so strong I just knew that wasn't possible and this was actually happening right there in my bedroom. They asked him to check if he could see the baby's head. I tried my hardest to push him away from me as when Im in pain I hate being talked to/touched he replied with no (but then left the room which now I know was because he told them yes he could but didn't want to panic me!) He came back in and at this point I was trying so hard to stop myself from pushing as the burning sensation was agonising. This was where Will turned into a midwife and I squeezed his hands so tight as I start pushing our little bundle of joy out. His head came out but the cord was wrapped so tightly around his neck it needed to be pulled off. Luckily for Will the paramedics turned up and ran upstairs. The man couldn't get the cord off as it was so thick so he had to puncture it with his thumb and pull it apart in an attempt to release it from the baby's neck. One more push and our baby entered the world. The other paramedic quickly clamped the cord on both the baby's end and mine. I had lost lots of blood and a scared look on the paramedics face as he said "the midwife is going to kill me, I am going to be in so much trouble" made me panic beyond belief. I was worried that something bad was going to happen to our little boy so I started shaking like mad. I was offered gas and air which helped me so much. Our baby was born at 4.54am. He didn't cry for a while and I kept asking why he wasn't crying and Will was telling me he was just to try and calm me down, seconds later he did cry but it felt like an eternity. They passed him over to me and I saw his little face and touched his little nose and it was such a surreal emotional moment that I will remember forever. Will then took him off me as they told him he needed to be dressed and fed and I still had to deliver the placenta. Which for some reason I completely forgot happened and when I was still getting strong contractions and the urge to still push I was convinced we were having another baby. I was thinking 'oh no what would I name him/her, I wonder what they will look like' (all a result of the gas and air, i'm not actually that stupid haha). 

My mum had come out of her room at this point and was greeted by a paramedic with 'alright love' and she was completely gobsmacked. Luckily Josh was sound asleep in the room next door and didn't wake up until he was born. I kept telling them all to be quiet as I didn't want to wake him and kept shouting at the paramedics when they told me to just pant and not push. I remember saying to him 'how about you try and pant and stop telling me what to do' ha ha ha. I was in complete shock and in so much pain afterwards they handed me a baby in my own bedroom and he was mine. In my bed at home I delivered our little boy and I was shaking uncontrollably for a good half an hour as I was just in complete shock at the entire situation. Josh then woke up at 6am. He came in to my bedroom and was greeted with three male paramedics, a midwife who had just turned up, a newborn baby in Will's arms and me in a complete state in my bed. The look on his little face was a picture as he whispered "mummy who are all these people, they just woke me up". My mum then took him downstairs to his ipad but she said he was just staring into space so a short while. I would love to know what was going on in his little head. My mum got Josh dressed and ready for school. It was school photo's day that day so I can't wait to see the picture! I arranged for him to go to his dad's after school as I couldn't move out of bed and needed time to come to terms with the morning we had just had.

He face timed me crying saying he wanted to come home and be with me and it broke my heart. He hasn't left my side since and he has been such an amazing big brother I really am so proud of him. The intensity of the pain still traumatises me and I have chucked out all my bedding and sheets and it really creeps me out laying in my bed. I stayed in bed until around 11am.
 I have to say the paramedics were so lovely and I do feel bad about shouting at them. They kept trying to take my mind off it by asking me lots of questions about the photos in my room, or about Josh. They told me how this was their first night shift in 15 years and how they hadn't delivered a baby before so I bet it was an interesting morning for them too! 

I shocked all my friends and family by sending a photo of a uncleaned new born baby laying on me in my bed at around 6am. Everyone was gobsmacked and Will got all the praise!! I still haven't come to terms with it all being so sudden but he is a week old now and I am so happy I have two beautiful little boys with me every day. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world knowing they are both mine. Although I am still waiting for my push present Will? I mean I did give you your own baby an hour after waking you up....


Freddie Stephen Morris! <3 7 pound 4 1/2 ounces of perfectness!  xoxo
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Saturday, 21 May 2016

Yummy Mummy Maternity Review*



I received some beautiful maternity clothes from Yummy Mummy Maternity. I thought I would share them with you as if like me and you're pregnant it is a nightmare to find clothes to wear. I have really struggled finding nice comfortable clothing and have been living in long tops and leggings and it becomes so boring dressing the same day in day out. It really is quite difficult dressing a growing bump!




First I got sent a lovely swimsuit which is perfect and fit's over my bump lovely. I was after a maternity swimsuit for a while as Josh really enjoys going swimming and I am no where near brave enough to wear a bikini while being pregnant so this was perfect. I love the colours used and the style and fit are lovely. The stripes are really flattering and a few of the pregnant ladies in the swimming pool asked me where it was from which is always a good sign.



Next they sent me this lovely top which is really stretchy and goes over my bump with ease. I love the colour and material they used it really is such a comfortable top to wear and chuck over a pair of leggings or a pair of jeans.I love that I would still be able to wear this when Im not pregnant as its such a lovely fit that it would suit any body shape. The stretchiness of the material really is perfect to cover your growing bump and I have been living in this top for the last few weeks as my bump just keeps growing! It really is lovely for summer as it's nice and light and flows lovely ensuring you stay nice and cool.


The dress is by far my favourite. I love it so much! I have had so many compliments when I wear it as its the perfect maxi dress. The fit is perfect clings to all the right areas and really accentuates your growing bump in the loveliest way. I love the stripes I think they are so flattering and the colour is lovely too. In the last few days we have had lovely weather and I have practically been wearing this every day as its so easy to chuck on and keeps you nice and cool while still looking lovely. The material yet again is so stretchy so I know it will last my entire pregnancy, but I am still really excited to be able to wear it afterwards too and I think it will be my going home outfit in hospital if the weather is nice.

I love the maternity range this website has to offer and would recommend them to any pregnant lady who are after affordable, comfortable but most importantly lovely looking clothes to wear. Pregnancy is hard enough without having to struggle to find something that fit's and looks nice so I love coming across websites like this and I really did have to share them with you.

Check them out here

Did you find it hard to dress your growing bump? I certainly have!

xoxo


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Thursday, 19 May 2016

38 WEEKS PREGNANT




I can't quite believe I'm 38 weeks pregnant already. Thats two weeks till due date and only 4 weeks until he will definitely be here, how crazy. I have had a pretty rough week this week being in hospital monitored twice! High blood pressure and headaches/blurred vision which I need to keep an eye on but they sent me home to rest up and hopefully that's it all sorted. I have been stressing a lot over Joshua's fourth birthday party on Saturday so maybe that has something to do with it?

Baby is the size of a leek this week and weighs in at around 6/7 pounds. He is pretty much a fully developed baby just going to get a little fatter but everything else is formed and lovely. I have been super tired with lots of braxton hicks and cramps which I'm hoping means I'm nearing the end! I haven't got another midwife appointment until I'm 39+4 and I'm hoping he will be here by then but if he's as lazy as Will then I shall see you with baby photos in a months time!

Josh is still talking more about baby and how excited he is to feed him his bottle and cuddle him to sleep in mummy's bed at night. He is really happy his little brother is going to bring him a present too (all bought just need to wrap!) From the start I have told him his baby will be coming after his birthday party which is this Saturday so he will probably be asking when he's coming on a day to day basis soon. 


I have gone off eating this week too which isn't like me as I love food. Me and Will have been going on lots of long walks to encourage him to make a move which hasn't worked yet. Also been eating my body weight in pineapple and drinking lots of cups of raspberry leaf tea. Lets just hope he doesn't make an appearance at his big brothers birthday party or even on his fourth birthday I would hate for them to have to share the day!

Its mad because I am on so many baby groups for the end of May/June babies and there have been so many births. It really does make me realise how close we are to having a little baby in our arms and we are all so excited. I really can't wait for my two babies to meet. 

Baby buy of the week
 

Look at how cute and little this summer romper my nan got us is!


This pregnancy has flown by hasn't it?

xoxo
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Tuesday, 17 May 2016

Friends from afar




One of my lovely best friends came all the way down from Watford last weekend to come and visit me and be at my baby shower and I was so excited to see her. Obviously living so far away from each other makes it a lot harder to see each other which I really do hate. She only stayed for the one night as she had work on the Monday morning but it was so lovely being able to see her. We spent the Saturday afternoon at my baby shower and had a lovely time she even painted my toe nails before we went as I can't reach them any more! (What a true friend!)

She had an early night on the Saturday as the traveling and all day outside in the heat gave her such a bad migraine and I really felt for her as we didn't have that long together so it was rubbish timing! After a lovely nights sleep (for her anyway I wake up every hour to pee!) she felt so much better and I decided to treat us both to a Fino Lounge breakfast. I love going to the Fino Lounge for pancakes and a milkshake so wanted her to enjoy the same experience! She went with a strawberry milkshake and pancakes with maple syrup and bacon. Who even has that? Can someone else agree with me that it's such a random choice of toppings for a sweet pancake.

I went with a more normal choice of strawberries and bananas and I loved it as per usual. A chocolate milkshake to go with it and its your perfect breakfast especially for a warm Sunday morning. I love the decor in the Fino Lounge and Laura took a few photos on her camera that I thought I would share too.









We then come back and walked Josh to the park close to my house which he loves. He had the magical monkey from nursery that weekend and he was so excited. The idea is to take the monkey on lots of adventures taking photos along the way and sharing it in the nursery photo book, so they can all read about it back at nursery Monday morning. Josh took the monkey to a play place with his friends on the Friday. Saturday he took him to the park and to mummy's baby shower and Sunday, he took him for a ride on our tortoises and another trip to the park to play with his digger he really did have a busy weekend.








On the way there Laura also took these lovely photo's of Josh in his favourite little tunnel. I love his outfit its so bright and summery and all from Zara.






I really do wish she lived closer to me but it makes the times we have together even more special and I can't wait to see her again in August when she comes down to take a trip to Barry island! 




xoxo

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